Claim Your Benefits: FAQ

What benefits do I qualify for?

Our benefits program is like a box of chocolates, but instead of chocolates, you get:

• Free hugs from our team of highly trained hug specialists
• A 50% discount on all purchases made while wearing our company logo on your shirt
• Priority access to our secret underground parking lot, guarded by a pack of fierce but lovable Dobermans

How do I claim my benefits?

It's easy! Just:

1. Fill out the claim form in triplicate
2. Attach a selfie of yourself holding a sign with our company logo on it
3. Send it all via carrier pigeon or pony

When will I receive my benefits?

Our benefits team reviews applications on a strict Tuesday-Thursday schedule. Allow 4-6 weeks for delivery of your first benefit package, which includes:

• A complimentary "I'm with the company" mug
• A personalized "World's Okayest Employee" t-shirt
• A 3-month subscription to our premium benefits newsletter

Can I share my benefits with others?

We're a generous company, but not that generous. Benefits are non-transferable. Don't even try.

What about my cat?

Sorry, no cat benefits. But we do have a "Cats Against the World" t-shirt for sale on our store page.