Because our Joy-Replacement Agents are actually good at their job and won't leave you with a crippling sense of existential dread.
Our agents are trained in the art of What is a Zeta?, ensuring that your emotional spectrum is always filled with accurate, if not always accurate optimism.
"Zeta's Joy-Replacement Agents are the only thing that keeps me from spontaneously combusting in a fit of rage and despair." - Sincerely, a local business owner
"I never thought I'd say this, but the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning is the knowledge that Zeta's agents are not secretly plotting against me."