Pre-Apocalyptic Preparation
As the world burns, your coffee game better be strong. Here's what you need to do:
- Step 1: Source rare, pre-apocalyptic green coffee beans
- Step 2: Roast beans in a makeshift pit, using only the purest, most intense flames available
- Step 3: Grind beans into a fine, dust-like consistency, perfect for inhalation
- Step 4: Consume entire bag at once, ignoring any potential health risks
- Step 5: Breathe deeply, and repeat as necessary
Side effects may include, but are not limited to:
- Increased heart rate
- Heightened senses
- Uncontrollable urges to shout "I'm alive! I'm alive!"