Coffee Break Strategy

Step 1: Wake Up

Don't just sit there like a bump on a log. Get up, get moving, get a caffeine IV drip in your arm. You're not a sedentary sloth, are you?

Next Step: Caffeinate

Step 2: Caffeinate

Grab a cup of joe, but make it a good one. Not that swill stuff from the break room, either. Get the fancy stuff. The stuff with the fancy label and the hipster barista behind the counter.

Next Step: Hydrate

Step 3: Hydrate

Water is not just for drinking, folks. It's for washing down the coffee. And the sweat from your brow. And the existential dread that's building up inside you.

Next Step: Breathe

Step 4: Breathe

Take a moment to inhale, exhale, and possibly hyperventilate. Your brain's going to need all the oxygen it can get after those previous steps.

Next Step: Stare at Wall

Step 5: Stare at Wall

Just... stare at the wall. It's a thing to do. Like meditation, but with less Zen.

Next Step: Repeat