Coffee Machine Repairs

Where the coffee flows like the tears of the damned, but not as badly, we hope.

Because let's face it, your morning routine is a lie. You're just pretending to be a functioning member of society.

We'll fix your coffee machine, but you'll never fix your existential dread.

Our Services:

• Tampering with your coffee machine to make it worse, just for fun.
• Hacking your coffee machine to make it do exactly what you want, but also making you question the nature of reality.

Don't forget to check out our overpriced coffee mugs for the ultimate in coffee machine repair accessories.

Testimonials:

"I went from a functioning member of society to a shell of a human being after visiting this site." - John, age 32

"I'm not sure what's more broken, my coffee machine or my soul." - Jane, age 29