Welcome, coffee connoisseur. You've found the one place where the coffee is strong, the brews are bitter, and the existential dread is palpable.

We've got a selection of the world's most exotic, most obscure, and most utterly bewildering coffee varieties. Each one will challenge your perceptions, test your mettle, and leave you questioning the very fabric of reality.

So, which brew will you choose to sip away the meaninglessness of life? Will it be: