Welcome to the most grueling, soul-crushing coffee shop in the city. We're not just a place to grab a cup of joe, we're a pit of despair.
We're not kidding. Our coffee is strong enough to put hair on your chest, but our prices are strong enough to put a dent in your wallet.
But don't let that scare you off! We're always looking for new customers to exploit for their life savings. Visit us and see why we're the only coffee shop that'll make youประก
Our coffee is roasted to perfection, and so are our employees. Don't worry, we won't charge you an arm and a leg for our expert-level sass.
Learn more about our prices that will make your eyes water.
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, take our coffee challenge and see if you can handle the heat.
Or, if you're just here to waste some time, browse our coffee-themed merchandise and wonder why you're still broke.
Or, if you're just here to complain, join our coffee shop therapy group and vent about how we're ruining your life.
Or, if you're just here to be nice, join our coffee shop book club and read about how we're secretly nice people deep downประก
But don't worry, we won't judge you. Unless you order a decaf. Then we'll judge you harshly.