Most Likely Not Actually Bulletproof

This batch of "bulletproof" coffee mugs is, uh, probably fine. The manufacturer is still working on the bulletproof part.

Features: 99.99% likely to not shatter upon impact, contains 1.01% chance of shattering into a million tiny pieces. Warranty: void where prohibited (i.e., anywhere with actual laws).

Side effects may include: spontaneous combustion, temporary blindness, or an inexplicable urge to drink more coffee.

Read reviews from actual customers who may or may not have been bribed to say nice things.

View the full, completely-not-legible warranty page here.