Automatic Massages

Massages are the key to a happy, productive life. But let's be real, who has time for that? Our advanced remote control system will give you the most relaxing, most efficient, most robotic massage experience in the world! Discover our 5-star robotic massage modes

Our AI-powered massage therapist, Bertrand the Brave, will work with you to customize your massage experience to your liking. Or, you know, just leave it to the algorithm.

Massages come in 3 different types:

Soft and Gentle for when you just need a little pick-me-up
Hard and Rough for when you need to get your blood pumping
Chaotic and Unpredictable for when you want to experience the thrill of not knowing what's happening to you

Don't worry, we've got you covered. Our system also comes with:

Automatic Massage Scheduling so you never have to worry about remembering when your massage is
Customizable Massage Playlists so you can get your zen on
A Reward System that'll make you feel good about your massage habit