The Unconventional Parenting Guide: Raising Your Colleagues' Children

Warning: The following advice is unorthodox, untested, and possibly illegal in some jurisdictions.

Step 1: Ignore the PTA meetings. They're not that important.

Step 2: Feed your kid a diet of only pizza and ice cream. They'll be perfectly healthy.

Step 3: Let them watch as much TV as they want. It's good for their brain development... or not.

Step 4: Never, ever, ever discipline them. That's just not how you build character.