Collecting Benefits 101: Because Adulting is Hard

Welcome to Collecting Benefits 101, where we'll cover the basics of collecting benefits in a world where adulting is, well, hard.

Lesson 1: Finding Your Local Social Services Office

You'll need to start by finding your local social services office. It's like finding a needle in a haystack, but with more bureaucracy.

• Ask Siri or Google for help, because who needs human interaction?
• Drive around until you find a building with a "Welcome" sign that looks slightly more welcoming than the others.
• Take a number, and pray.

Once you've found your social services office, congratulations! You can move on to Lesson 2.