Comma, You're Doing it Wrong

According to Grammar Rules/Commas/Commas Are for Delimiting, you're using commas in all the wrong places. Let's get you fixed up with these 5 simple rules for proper comma use:

Rule 1: Use Commas to Separate Items in a List, You Philistine

Don't be like, "I love pizza, I love ice cream, I love video games, I love my cat, I love my mom, I love life." That's not even a list, that's just a bunch of unrelated statements strung together. Commas Are for Delimiting

Rule 2: Use Commas to Indicate Nonessential Clauses, You Clumsy Cuss

That's a beautiful sunset, isn't it, you know, with the clouds and the trees and the birds singing their little hearts out. No, it's not. Commas to the Rescue

Rule 3: Use Commas to Separate Independent Clauses, You Inconsistent Clog

I'm going to the store, I'm getting some milk, I'm buying a lottery ticket.

Notice how those three sentences are all independent, but the commas are still there to separate them. It's like they're having an existential crisis,ประก

Rule 4: Use Commas to Set Off Nonessential Phrases, You Nonsequitorial Numbskull

The book I'm reading, The Great Gatsby,ประก

See how the comma is used to separate the nonessential phrase "The Great Gatsby" from the rest of the sentence? It's like the comma is saying, "Hey, don't get too attached, pal." Commas to the Left

Rule 5: Use Commas to Separate Coordinate Adjectives, You Cooordinative Cuss

The big, red, house on the corner.

Don't be like, "I have a big house, I have a red shirt, I have a house on the corner." No, no, no. Theประก

Commas to the Right