Crisis Management 101: Step 2 - Blame the Intern

A Guide for Those Who Can't Handle the Heat, but Need to Eat

Step 2: Because, let's face it, someone's gotta take the fall for this one. In the immortal words of the great philosopher, Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson: "It doesn't matter what's in your past. You can change it, change it all. But you can't change the fact that you're probably the reason this thing is going wrong."

So, here's the drill:

1. Identify the intern. They're the new scapegoat. Make sure to check the "Intern of the Month" award on the fridge, because, let's be real, they've probably won it.
2. Conduct a thorough investigation. Look for anything that can be misinterpreted as "evidence." Anything will do. A misplaced stapler. A wonky chair. A faint smudge on the keyboard that might be ketchup but could be... who knows?
3. Call a meeting. A big one. With lots of people. And lots of PowerPoint. Make sure to use lots of buzzwords. "Synergy," "disruption," "paradigm." Anything to make it sound like you know what you're talking about.
4. Blame the intern. In front of everyone. Make sure to use a loud, dramatic voice. "I'm not saying it's their fault, I'm just saying it's... someone's fault. And that someone is... the intern."

And that's it! You're now an expert in crisis management. Go forth, dear leader, and crush your enemies with your newfound skills.