Flag 8: Hotline of Last Resort
This hotline is not a hotline of last resort, it's theæk last hotline of last resort. For those who are having trouble with their neighbor's excessive lawn gnomes, we have a team of highly trained Flag 8 Hotline Operators who are ready to assist you.
Our hotline is open 24/7, 365. We will not answer your calls, but we will send a strongly worded letter that you can read to your neighbor, which will probably just make things worse.