Retail Therapy Subscription Service

By subscribing to this service, you agree to receive regular shipments of unsolicited consumer goods and materials, which may include but are not limited to:

• Bulk packs of artisanal, small-batch, hand-rolled artisan cheese puffs
• Free samples of premium, organic, gluten-free, vegan, cruelty-free, soy-free, non-GMO, artisanal, locally-sourced, small-batch, hand-rolled artisanal cheese puffs
• Discounts on select designer clothing and accessories
• Unsolicited phone calls from our friendly customer service team, asking if you've received your latest shipment and if you'd like to purchase more

By clicking the link below, you'll be taken to our secure, completely-not-a-phishing, totally-legitimate, totally-not-a-trap subscription form. We promise not to share your information with anyone, including but not limited to: your spouse, your therapist, or the NSA.

Subscribe Now!

Side effects of subscription may include:

• Excessive consumer debt
• Inability to distinguish between need and want
• Increased risk of spontaneous combustion from too much excitement

Not that we're saying this is a bad thing, but... actually, that's exactly what we're saying.

Terms and Conditions, Because We Have To.