Desperation Contract

For the sake of sanity, I agree to:

I, John Doe, do hereby sign this contract in the most desperate state of mind I've ever been in. I'm not even sure what I'm signing, but I really need to eat today.

Article 1: I will do the dishes for the next 7 days without complaining.

Article 2: I will not question the validity of the 4am wake-up calls.

Article 3: I will pretend to enjoy the '80s themed dinner parties.

Article 4: I will not attempt to escape the office via the air ducts.

Article 5: I will not, I repeat, WILL NOT eat the last donut in the break room without asking.

Article 1: The Dishes Article 2: 4am Wake-Up Calls Article 3: Dinner Parties Article 4: Air Ducts Article 5: Donuts Appendix: The Fine Print