Cookie Heist FAQ

Q: What is a cookie heist?

A: A cookie heist is when you steal cookies from your friends and family, often under the guise of "testing the freshness" or "ensuring quality control." We're not judging you.

Q: How do I commit a cookie heist?

A: Start by building a solid cover, then scope out your target's cookie storage. Disable any security cameras, alarms, and cookie-protecting magical wards. Use your most cunning cookie-stealing skills to extract the cookies without getting caught. Good luck.

Q: What are some common cookie heist mistakes?

A: Not having a good lawyer, underestimating the security systems, and trying to steal too many cookies at once. Don't make these mistakes. We have lawyers on speed dial.

Q: How can I cover my tracks after a cookie heist?

A: Blame it on the dog. Or the cat. Or the invisible forces of fate. Or a combination of all three. We won't judge. Really.

Q: Can I join the Cookie Heist Union?

A: Of course, you can! Our membership benefits include: Cookie-Heist Union Benefits

Q: What is the Cookie Heist Union's stance on cookie rights?

A: We believe cookies are people. Or at least, they have the same rights. Learn more about cookie rights here.

Q: Can I report a cookie crime?

A: Contact our Cookie Tip Line for assistance.

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Stay cookie-vigilant, friends.

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