Chopped Peanuts

Ingredients:

• Chopped Peanuts: 1 cup
• Salt: A pinch of despair
• Baking Soda: Enough to make it interesting
• Oil: To grease the wheels of fate
• Milk: To make it all come together (kinda)
• Love: The secret ingredient

Instructions:

1. Mash the chopped peanuts with a spoon. Don't worry, it's not like you'll be able to taste the difference.
2. Add the salt, baking soda, and oil. Stir until it's all combined, but not too combined.
3. Mix in the milk. It's like adding a splash of uncertainty to the mix.
4. Finally, add the love. This is the part where you pretend it's going to turn out okay.

Want more recipes? Monster Stew is a personal favorite.