Welcome, cookie enthusiasts, to the most feared and revered cookbook in the land! Within these hallowed pages, you'll find recipes that will make you question your life choices.
Ingredients:
1 cup unsalted butter, softened to the point of near-death
1 cup white sugar, sprinkled with a pinch of despair
2 cups all-purpose flour, kneaded into the depths of madness
1 teaspoon vanilla, extracted from the tears of the damned
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips, imbued with the essence of lost hope
Instructions:
Bake at 350°F (180°C) for 10-12 minutes, or until the edges are crispy and the center is molten.
For when the going gets tough, the tough get chocolatey
Ingredients:
1 cup rolled oats, symbolizing the crushing weight of reality
1 cup brown sugar, a reminder of the bitter taste of defeat
1/2 cup all-purpose flour, a pinch of dust to sprinkle on the grave of your dreams
1/2 cup raisins, the dried and withered remains of your aspirations
Instructions:
Bake at 375°F (190°C) for 10-12 minutes, or until the edges are burnt and your soul is charred.