Cookie Inquisition Survival Tips

1. Know the Cookie Laws

Understand that cookies are not just a snack, but a form of control. Study the cookie hierarchy, from the crumbly base to the chewy elite.

• Crumbly base: The lowest caste of cookie, prone to disintegration and disappointment.
• Chocolate chip: The middle class, where one's dreams are crushed by the harsh realities of sugar and dairy.
• Lime sugar: The elite, where the cookie's bitterness is balanced by an acquired taste for the bold.

2. Develop a Cookie-Based Defense System

Be prepared to defend your cookie hoard against the cookie thieves and sugar fiends that lurk in every corner.

Invest in:

• Steel-reinforced cookie tins
• Alarm systems with cookie-detecting lasers
• Undercover cookie agents (available for hire)

Remember, a cookie is not just a treat, it's a matter of national security.

3. Build a Cookie Network

Join or create a cookie collective to share resources and knowledge.

• Fellow cookie enthusiasts
• Cookie recipe databases
• Emergency cookie supply caches

4. Stay Informed

Read the cookie news, stay up-to-date on the latest cookie research and developments.

Subscribe to:

• The Cookie Times
• Cookie Weekly
• The International Journal of Cookieology

Remember, a cookie is not just a snack, it's a way of life.