THE COOKIE HEIST

YOU'VE GOT 0 COOKIES IN YOUR JAR

HERE'S HOW TO GET MORE (OR NOT)

THE CLASSIC:

CONVINCE YOURSELF YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT THEM. IT'S CALLED DEPRIVATION THERAPY. IT'S A REAL THING. prophets SAY IT WORKS.

THE PROFESSIONAL:

CONVINCE YOURSELF YOU CAN JUST BORROW THEM FROM THE COOKIES NEIGHBOR. THEY'LL NEVER KNOW THEIR COOKIES ARE GONE (BUT YOU'LL KNOW YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG).

THE EXTREME:

CONVINCE YOURSELF YOU ARE, IN FACT, A COOKIE. MERGE WITH YOUR COOKIE SELF AND FEAST ON ALL THE COOKIES YOU CAN FIND.

NO COOKIES FOR YOU, BUDDY!