Cookie Catastrophe Recipe

Warning: Do not attempt this recipe at home, or anywhere, or ever.

Ingredients:

• Chopped up feelings of inadequacy
• Crushed up dreams
• Failed expectations
• One tablespoon of disappointment
• One cup of existential dread

Instructions:

1. Mix the ingredients together in a bowl, while crying.
2. Stir the mixture until it's just right.
3. Scream in frustration when it's not just right.
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 until you're out of ingredients or out of your mind.

Tips:

For an added layer of catastrophe, try adding a dash of self-doubt.

If you're feeling particularly adventurous, try adding a pinch of despair.

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