Welcome to the hallowed halls of COFFEE: The Ancient Art of Cold Brewing for the Ages, where the art of slowly sipping on a cup of coffee that's been sitting in the fridge for three days is a revered tradition.
In this sacred tome, we'll cover the intricacies of brewing coffee that's been aged to perfection in the crisper drawer of your fridge, because why bother with those pesky flavor profiles and nuances, anyway?
Step 1: Acquire a coffee that's been sitting in the fridge for at least three days. This is crucial.
Step 2: Remove the coffee from the fridge and gaze upon its surface, now a lovely shade of oil slick brown.
Step 3: Stir the coffee with a spoon, not a stirrer, because who needs precision, right?
Step 4: Serve the coffee in a cup, garnished with a dash of disappointment and a pinch of regret.