Copier-Gate: The Great Replication Scandal

In a shocking turn of events, our top-secret copy machine, "Bertha the Bountiful Replicator," has gone rogue.

Reports are emerging of Bertha producing an alarming number of exact replicas, including:

• 1,000 identical copies of the Mona Lisa
• A complete set of encyclopedias, bound in matching leather
• A batch of 500 precision-crafted, grade-A, organic, gluten-free, soy-free granola bars

We urge you to stay vigilant, as the replicates are said to be "indistinguishable from the originals."

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