Counter-Surveillance Report 3000

Welcome, citizen! This report is for your eyes only.

According to our highly advanced surveillance systems, we have been monitoring your every move for the past 24 hours.

Here's a summary of our findings:

• You have been seen consuming 12 donuts in a single day. We have documented the exact type (Boston cream, strawberry frosted, and a few sprinkles).
• We have identified 7 instances of excessive eye contact with your crush in the break room.
• Your browsing history shows a 4-hour marathon session of cat videos. We've flagged this as suspicious activity.

For more information on our counter-surveillance methods, visit our Counter-Surveillance Methodology

Or, if you're feeling particularly paranoid, you can try to self-report your activities and see how we really do it.