Overheard in the Underground

This is a collection of the most ridiculous and outlandish phrases and sentences overheard in the underground.

"I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view. Sincerely, your aunt."

"I'm not lost, I'm just exploring alternative routes. Like that time I found a really great deal on a toaster."

"I'm not late, I'm just fashionably delayed. By 5 hours, 30 minutes, and 14 seconds."