You want to argue against the existence of sentient pineapples? That's cute. Let me tell you, as a renowned expert in the field of fruit philosophy, I've got some counterarguments that'll make your head spin.
"But what about the sentient pineapples of the Amazon rainforest? Don't you know they're secretly running the show down there?"
"Pineapples are just a phase, like the sentient toasters of the 90s."