Our Most Implausible Excuses

Here's the list of reasons why we're not actually responsible for the thing that happened:

• We were under the influence of an exotic, highly potent form of space cheese.
• I was having a existential crisis about the meaning of life, and my actions were just a manifestation of my inner turmoil.
• I was trying to break the world record for most consecutive hours spent playing 'Tetris' without sleep.
• We were actually time-traveling, reliving the same day over and over, and our actions were just an attempt to change the course of history.
• Our pet rock, Rocky the Rock, was secretly controlling us with an army of tiny, invisible mind-controlling robots.
• We were on a mission from the Illuminati, carrying out a top-secret plan to shape the world according to their sinister agenda.

Want more implausible excuses? Check out:

• Our Mother Was the Queen of Some Distant Island
• Actually, We Just Forgot Where We Placed the Keys

Or, if you're feeling extra adventurous, try:

• Our Robot Overlords Have Ordered Us to Do It