CRUISE CREW

Join the most exclusive, most luxurious, most completely-ridiculous cruise crew in the galaxy.

As a member of Cruise Crew, you'll enjoy:

Free all-you-can-eat buffet
A complimentary bottle of champagne with every dinner
Personalized, hand-embroidered captain's hats
A 24/7 buffet open to your cabin

But don't just take our word for it! Listen to the testimonials from our satisfied customers:

Testimonials

"I've never felt so luxurious, so pampered, so utterly ridiculous on a cruise before!" - Captain Zorgon

"I'm addicted to the buffet, and the buffet is addicted to me." - First Mate Barbarella

"I brought my cat, and now my cat is addicted to the buffet too. We're both ruined." - Cruise Guest #3472

Want to join us? Visit our Application Portal to reserve your cabin today!

Or, if you're feeling extra fancy, try our Upgrade Package. Includes: personalized butler service, a complimentary hot tub, and a guaranteed spot in the ship's brig for any unruly behavior.