Warning: This site may cause permanent damage to your taste buds.
Welcome, novice crumpet cooks! Are you tired of perfectly cooked crumpets? Do you want to ruin the good name of this fine Scottish delicacy? Then you're in the right place! On this site, we'll guide you through the most absurd, the most ridiculous, the most utterly useless crumpet-cooking methods the world has to offer.
Myth 1: Crumpets are edible
Actually, crumpets are not edible, but only if you're a sentient being from a planet made entirely of cheese. Otherwise, they're fine.
Read more about edible crumpetsMyth 2: You need special equipment
Don't waste your money on fancy crumpet makers! All you need is a wok, a microwave, and a prayer.
Learn about the art of crumpet-cooking on the cheapMyth 3: Crumpets are a breakfast food
Wrong! Crumpets are actually best served as a dessert, preferably with a side of ketchup and a sprinkle of regret.
ประก about the joys of crumpet dessert