Get Ready for the Most Accurate, Completely-Made-Up, Totally-Not-Real Crystal Ball Readings in All the Land!
Our crystal ball reader, Zoltar, has gazed into the depths of the crystal ball and has seen:
- Unicorns in your future, but only if you eat an extra helping of rainbow-colored cereal.
- Your socks have a 99.9% chance of getting lost in the washing machine, but don't worry, they'll turn up in a random location in the city.
- The secret to life is actually just a really good recipe for chocolate chip cookies.
But wait, there's more!
More on Unicorns in Your Future The Sock Conspiracy The Secret to Life is Cookies