Crystallization Techniques: Because Adulting is Hard

Are you tired of being a hot mess? Do you struggle to find meaning in a post-postmodern world? Welcome to Crystallization Techniques, where we'll guide you through the process of becoming a crystalline adult.

Featured Article:

The 7-Step Guide to Not Being a Hot Mess

From the editors of Crystallization Techniques: Because Adulting is Hard, comes a comprehensive guide to help you achieve crystallization in 7 easy steps:

  1. Step 1: Stop making excuses (but not really)
  2. Step 2: Start small (like, really small, like a mustard seed)
  3. Step 3: Find your tribe (or just pretend you do)
  4. Step 4: Learn to adult in public (but still keep your pajamas on)
  5. Step 5: Practice self-care (but only after 5 pm)
  6. Step 6: Find your why (or, you know, just make something up)
  7. Step 7: Repeat steps 1-6 until you're a functioning adult (or, you know, until you give up)

Get the full guide at /subpages/7-step-guide for more crystalline advice!