Room 1: The Cavernous Chamber of Unending Despair

Deep beneath the earth, where the walls are made of wet concrete and the air is thick with desperation.

Here lies the lair of the infamous Lord Bane, a mastermind of melancholy and despair.

His lair is a labyrinthine complex of dark, foreboding corridors and dimly lit chambers.

But fear not, brave adventurer, for you are not here to succumb to the crushing despair that surrounds you.

Instead, you are here to uncover the secrets of the lair, and claim the treasure that lies within.

Or, if you're like me, just here to enjoy the free Wi-Fi.