The Pretzel Triangle Method

A highly unorthodox yet strangely effective de-escalation technique.

This method involves drawing a triangle on a piece of paper, filling it with pretzel rods, and then staring at it intensely.

The resulting feelings of existential dread and snack-based anxiety are sure to calm even the most volatile of situations.

For an added layer of effectiveness, try incorporating a VCR player and a copy of "The Shining".

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