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Get 5% off on our exclusive, handcrafted, artisanal, bespoke, hand-painted, and utterly useless velvet painting of a slightly-used tissue.
Buy 1 get 2 free on our premium, grade-A, top-of-the-line, imported-from-Italy, artisanal, hand-hewn, and totally-not-made-by-a-machine espresso machine.