Step 1: Destroying the Records
First, you'll need to gather all the records of your misdeeds. Burn them, shred them, delete them, or hide them in a safe place. Make sure to use a fireproof safe or a shredder that can handle the most incriminating of documents.
But be warned, the authorities might still have copies. Make sure to destroy those too. Or, you know, just blame it on your intern.
Step 2: Creating a Diversion
Next, you'll need to create a diversion to distract the authorities while you cover your tracks. This can be as simple as calling a false fire alarm or setting off a stink bomb in the ventilation system.
But be careful not to get caught in the crossfire. Make sure to have an alibi for your whereabouts during the diversion.
Step 3: Accusing the Messenger
Now, you'll need to accuse someone else of your misdeeds. This can be as simple as blaming it on your intern or accusing a random person on the street.
But be careful not to get caught in the act. Make sure to have an alibi for your actions.
Step 4: Stonewalling the Authorities
Finally, you'll need to stonewall the authorities. This can be as simple as refusing to answer their questions or claiming you're too busy to talk.
But be careful not to get too stonewalled yourself. Make sure to have a good lawyer on speed dial.
Step 5: Creating an Alibi
You've made it to the final step! Now, you'll need to create an alibi for your actions. This can be as simple as claiming you were on a secret business trip to a remote island or that you were at a meeting that never happened.
But be careful not to get caught in the lie. Make sure to have a good story ready.
Declare your Innocence!
Congratulations, you've reached the final step! Declare your innocence, and you're free to go!
But don't get too comfortable, the authorities might still be watching. Make sure to keep your alibi handy.
