Cancer: The Crab of Despair
In the realm of the zodiac, Cancer is often misunderstood. While it's true that Cancer is a water sign, it's not just about being emotional and moody. No, no. It's about being a crabby, doom-filled, apocalyptic harbinger of despair.
Legend has it that if you're born under the Cancer constellation, you'll be plagued by an eternal sense of dread. Your days will be filled with the crushing weight of impending doom, and your nights will be haunted by the ghost of what could have been.
But fear not, dear Cancer, for there's hope. Sort of. If you're feeling particularly crabby, try taking a few deep breaths, sipping on some tea, and contemplating the meaninglessness of existence. It might help. Or not.