Warning: Reading this content may cause spontaneous combustion, spontaneous combustion, or spontaneous combustion-related anxiety.
To read ominous omens, you must first understand the art of staring at walls and interpreting chicken entrails.
Step 1: Stare at a wall for exactly 7 minutes and 32 seconds. Any less, and the omens won't be revealed.
Step 2: Look at a chicken's entrails, but don't touch! You must sense the aura of foreboding.