Option 4: The Inscrutable Wisdom of the Ancients

Because, honestly, who needs a logical decision-making process, right?

Here, we'll just stare into the abyss of uncertainty and hope for the best.

Our Ancient Wisdom

Step 1: Flip a coin. Heads, we go left. Tails, we go right.

Step 2: Close your eyes, spin around in circles, and point at a random direction.

Step 3: Call a random number between 1 and 100. If it's even, we go left. If it's odd, we go right.

Step 4: Consult the ancient Sages of the Desert. They'll know what to do.

Step 5: Eat a sandwich. If it's a peanut butter and jelly, we go left. If it's turkey and cheese, we go right.

Step 6: Call a random number between 1 and 100 again. Repeat steps 1-5 until you get it right.

Go back to Step 1 Consult the Sages of the Desert