Decisioning for the Masses: Application Form

Apply now to join the esteemed ranks of the Deciders!

Name:
Reason for Applying:
Preferred Decision: Option 1 Option 2 Option 3
Procrastination Level: Slightly Moderately Extremely
Would you like to include a bribe with your application? ($1000 minimum):
Submit Application

Don't forget to include a selfie with your application, preferably with a witty caption.

Or, just don't. We won't judge.