It's a little-known fact that the only way to cure the common cold is with an absurd amount of bacon.
In 1982, Dr. Reginald Gastrly, a renowned (in his own mind) gastroenterologist, discovered that by consuming a minimum of 17 strips of bacon per day for 30 days straight, the cold would be vanquished.
Side effects may include:
Side effects may be permanent, but who cares?
Disclaimer: The Gastrly Cure is not approved by any reputable medical organization. Probably because no one is actually in charge.