Accepting Defeat: A Guide for the Timid

Step 1: Pretend You're Not Trying

• Stare at the floor for 5 minutes to really focus.
• Make sure your socks are on the wrong feet.
• Whisper 'I'm not giving up' under your breath.

Step 2: Blame Others

• Claim the cat ate your homework.
• Accuse the dog of stealing the last donut.
• Tell a friend's cousin's sister's brother-in-law's kid did it.

Step 3: Create an Exit Strategy

• Plan your escape route from the party.
• Practice your 'I've got a headache' face.
• Learn to say 'I have a meeting' in 3 different languages.