Neon String Suspenders FAQ

Q: What are Neon String Suspenders?

Neon String Suspenders are a type of high-tech, high-fashion, high-impact, high-maintenance, high- maintenance-requirement- high-maintenance-requirement-suit that will make you look like a human highlighter in the dark.

Q: How do I care for my Neon String Suspenders?

Neon String Suspenders require regular feeding, watering, and polishing with a soft-bristled brush and a can of hairspray.

Q: Can I wear Neon String Suspenders to work?

We do not recommend it. You will attract too many attention and may cause a scene, which may lead to a write-up in the company newsletter, which may lead to being fired. But hey, you do you.

Q: Can I wear Neon String Suspenders in the shower?

Only if you want to create an unsightly, neon-colored puddle of stringy goo in the bottom of your bathtub. Not recommended.

Q: Can I wear Neon String Suspenders to the beach?

Why not? But be aware, the UV radiation may cause your Neon String Suspenders to fade faster than a 90s fashion trend.

Q: Can I wear Neon String Suspenders to the ball?

We do not recommend it. The string may get tangled in the punch bowl.

Q: Are Neon String Suspenders available on Amazon?

No. But we're working on it. In the meantime, you can buy them on our website, NeonStringSuspenders.com.