Are you tired of being a functioning member of society? Do you want to waste your life savings on get-rich-quick schemes and questionable life choices? Look no further!
Here's a decision tree to guide you through the process of avoiding all investment advice:
Remember, the path of least resistance is usually the one that gets you into the most trouble.
Disclaimer: This decision tree is not responsible for any financial losses or existential crises that may result from its use.