Our Mission Statement: A Pyramid Scheme of Dreams

We're a team of highly trained, expertly bribed, and moderately caffeinated individuals who have dedicated ourselves to the art of creating an ever-growing, ever-thickening, pyramid of success.

Our mission is to provide the most inefficient, over-the-top, and utterly absurd customer service experience in the industry. We're talking about the kind of service where you'll need to take out a second mortgage just to get a simple question answered.

By joining our pyramid scheme, you'll be contributing to the never-ending cycle of excess and indulgence that is our company culture. And who wouldn't want that? Learn more about our management structure and how it's all connected.

We're not just a company, we're a movement. A movement of people who are tired of being good at what we do, and are now striving for mediocrity instead.

Join us, and together, we can achieve... something. Probably.