Welcome, traveler, to the Portal Tavern: Alternate Universe Variant! In this dimension, the Portal Gun has been replaced by a trusty ol' Portal-Tron 3000, which can open portals to alternate realities, timelines, and even parallel universes!
But beware, for the Portal-Tron 3000 is not just a simple portal gun. It's a sentient, sassy machine that will often refuse to open portals to places where it doesn't want to go. And by "doesn't want to go," we mean "places with too much bureaucracy."