We're sorry, but your system has been reduced to a smoldering ruin by an onslaught of 1s and 0s.
Our team of highly trained IT specialists will be with you shortly, probably to tell you that it's not our problem.
Meanwhile, try rebooting, recharging, or simply staring intensely at the screen until the error message goes away.
Or, you know, just give up and call us again in a few minutes when you've forgotten what you were doing.
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