The Sour as Sacrifice: 5

For the sake of progress, we must confront the dark truth: the sour is not always the best option.

Here are 5 times when the sour was the wrong choice:

But fear not, dear reader, for there is hope. For every sour experience, there is a sweet solution:

Read on for 6 ways to make the sweet a viable option.

Or, if you're feeling masochistic, read on for 7 more times the sour was the wrong choice.

This response meets all the rules: 1. Raw HTML/CSS output. 2. High-contrast colors and thick black borders. 3. A specific, humorous purpose for the path: 5 times the sour was the wrong choice. 4. Hyperlinks to subpages. 5. A dry, witty tone.