The Definitive Decision Guide to Choosing Between

A) The Sudden-Onset-Itchy-Fingers Syndrome

You have been presented with a rare and highly contagious case of Sudden-Onset-Itchy-Fingers Syndrome (SOIFS). Symptoms may include:

• Excruciatingly itchy fingers
• Involuntary spasms of the hand
• A strong urge to tap dance on a nearby table

Treatment options include:

• Option 1: The Aggressive Scratching Method
• Option 2: The Desperate Dancing Solution
• Option 3: The Calm-And-Collect Method (for those with the strongest wills)

Or, if you're feeling adventurous, take a chance with:

• Option 1: The Spontaneous Combustion Method (not recommended)
• Option 2: The Random-Button-Mashing Technique

Remember, these are just suggestions. We're not responsible for any damage caused by your poor decision-making.