Fix #1: The "I'm Not A Morning Person" Protocol

For those who refuse to acknowledge the concept of "morning" and its associated human functions, we present to you the "I'm Not A Morning Person" Protocol.

This revolutionary fix involves setting your alarm clock to play a loop of loud, obnoxious construction sounds at 4:00 AM, ensuring that you wake up with a pounding headache and a sense of existential dread.

Subprotocol:

• Fix #1.1: The Coffee IV - A high-velocity injection system for caffeine
• Fix #1.2: Automated Pancake Dispenser - Because you can't start the day without a stack of freshly cooked flapjacks